I cannot take credit for the following; my MA student (at HBU) Benjamin Summers forwarded these to me months ago. But they *are* enjoyable.
Q: Why don’t Bible translators ever buy matte paint?
A: Because they’re always looking for a good gloss.
Q: Which Hebrew letter is nothing to sneeze at?
A: Allergic nun.
Q: Which Old Testament authors found the most gems and nuggets of wisdom?
A: The miner prophets.
Q: What kind of machine would Siskel & Ebert use to determine whether a film gets a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down?
A: Their critical apparatus.
Q: What story did the Hebrew professor tell around the campfire?
A: The tale of the headless relative clause.
Q: What flavor gum does a rabbi chew?
A: Tar gum.
Q: How is an exegete different from a submarine captain?
A: One searches through a periscope while the other searches through a pericope.
Q: If you don’t practice using a lexicon, why will your translation stink?
A: Because not brushing up gives you HALOT-osis.
Q: The sentence topic that was just here – where did it go?
A: It left dislocation.
Q: Why couldn’t the overly humble student tell a direct object from an adjunct prepositional phrase?
A: He just didn’t know how to take a complement.
Q: What moral lesson can we learn from identifying verbless clauses?
A: What’s right isn’t always copular, and what’s copular isn’t always right.