Monthly Archives: March 2014

Tom Schreiner in Houston Fri-Sun March 28-30

Come hear Dr. Tom Schreiner at Founders Baptist in Spring, TX this Fri/Sat/Sun! FREE Spurgeon Conference.

DATE & TIME

  • March 28, 2014 / 7:00pm
  • March 29, 2014 / 7:00pm
  • March 30, 2014 / 10:30am & 6:30pm
  • Topic: The Upside Down Kingdom
  • Guest Speaker: Dr. Tom Schreiner

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Hebrew Humor for the Holiday (that’s Spring Break for non-UK folks)

I cannot take credit for the following; my MA student (at HBU) ImageBenjamin Summers forwarded these to me months ago. But they *are* enjoyable.

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Q: Why don’t Bible translators ever buy matte paint?

A: Because they’re always looking for a good gloss.

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Q: Which Hebrew letter is nothing to sneeze at?

A: Allergic nun.

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Q: Which Old Testament authors found the most gems and nuggets of wisdom?

A: The miner prophets.

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Q: What kind of machine would Siskel & Ebert use to determine whether a film gets a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down?

A: Their critical apparatus.

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Q: What story did the Hebrew professor tell around the campfire?

A: The tale of the headless relative clause.

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Q: What flavor gum does a rabbi chew?

A: Tar gum.

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Q: How is an exegete different from a submarine captain?

A: One searches through a periscope while the other searches through a pericope.

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Q: If you don’t practice using a lexicon, why will your translation stink?

A: Because not brushing up gives you HALOT-osis.

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Q: The sentence topic that was just here – where did it go?

A: It left dislocation.

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Q: Why couldn’t the overly humble student tell a direct object from an adjunct prepositional phrase?

A: He just didn’t know how to take a complement.

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Q: What moral lesson can we learn from identifying verbless clauses?

A: What’s right isn’t always copular, and what’s copular isn’t always right.

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